First prisoners of war taken in GA-TN border war

In an effort to de-escalate the growing tensions between Georgia and Tennessee regarding water rights and the boundary between the states, Chattanooga Mayor Ron Littlefield issued a proclamation:

WHEREAS, it has come to pass that the heavens are shut up and a drought of Biblical proportions has been visited upon the Southern United States, and

WHEREAS, the parched and dry conditions have weighed heavily upon the State of Georgia and sorely afflicted those who inhabit the Great City of Atlanta, and

WHEREAS, the leaders of Georgia have assembled like the Children of Israel in the desert, grumbled among themselves and have begun to cast longing eyes toward the north, coveting their neighbor’s assets, and

WHEREAS, the lack of water has led some misguided souls to seek more potent refreshment or for other reasons has resulted in irrational and outrageous actions seeking to move a long established and peaceful boundary, and

WHEREAS, it is deemed better to light a candle than curse the darkness, and better to offer a cool, wet kiss of friendship rather than face a hot and angry legislator gone mad from thirst, and

Whereas, it is feared that if today they come for our river, tomorrow they might come for our Jack Daniels or George Dickel,

NOW THEREFORE, In the interest of brotherly love, peace, friendship, mutual prosperity, citywide self promotion, political grandstanding and all that

I Ron Littlefield, Mayor of the City of Chattanooga, Tennessee, do hereby Proclaim that Wednesday, February 27, 2008 shall be known as “Give Our Georgia Friends a Drink Day.”

To make good on his proclamation, Littlefield yesterday ordered 2000 bottles of water delivered to the Georgia capitol building in Atlanta. The plan backfired, however, when Georgia took the first prisoners of war in the great Georgia v. Tennessee Border War of 2008:

[Mayor's aide Matt] Lea - accompanied by Georgia state Sen. Jeff Mullis, a north Georgia Republican who has pushed for the border change - were both handcuffed on charges of bringing moonshine into the state. The state trooper who slapped the cuffs on them was in on the gag.

"Kind and friendly negotiations will continue with the levity you see today," Mullis said after the state trooper took off the cuffs, adding: "They weren't sure if that substance was water or some high octane liquid."

Lea came dressed as Tennessee frontiersman Davy Crockett, donning a buckskin outfit, a powderhorn and a coonskin cap - with a hint of a modern touch. A Blackberry fit neatly into one of his pockets.

"I didn't want to bring a musket or a knife," he quipped. "I didn't want to offend the Georgia Legislature."

Gov. Bredesen's office could not be reached for comment on whether troops had yet been dispatched to Lynchburg and Tullahoma to defend Tennessee's supply of Jack Daniels and George Dickel.

Labels: Georgia, humor, Tennessee, water rights